Tag Archives: change

Take the Long View

Freedom, true freedom, is grounded in doing as one ‘ought’ to do.  However, today’s trends teach that freedom is being able to do what one ‘wants’ to do.  The ‘Ought To’s’ are a set of very specific commandments that tell us to love and serve outward, and, in doing so, one finds true freedom and peace.  The ‘Want To’s’ include any and everything that is self gratifying and immediate, and in doing so, one finds bondage.

Ponder this for a moment.  How the world’s definition of freedom affects how we parent, teach, discipline, think.  It robs our resolve.  Homeschoolers are idealists who believe that they can change the world one lesson at a time, one child at a time.  However, technology makes it almost impossible to live in any sort of Bubble of Ideals unless we create a plan, set goals, practice daily and diligently to be and become active participants of true freedom.

Where are these influences hitting your home?  If you want to do it all you are bound to junk food, stress, weariness, weight, moods, ill health; if you want to seek pleasure you bound to screens, costs, self; if you want riches you are in bound to work, schedules, meetings; and so on.  Freedom is the ability to say ‘no’ to our wants, set limits for ourselves, challenge the status quo, go against the odds, etc which require a Long View built on the scale of generations, maybe even centuries.

Grandparents never say they wish they had spent more time at the office or had one less baby.  They are at the point of seeing The Long View in retrospect.  Age has shown them the sweetness, bitterness, or lack of their productions/fruit.  In looking back they can see what they could not when immersed in the masses and busily becoming someone important through actively seeking what they (thought) they wanted.  None of this is done with ill intent or malicious plans.  The art of thinking has become passe.  In choosing to homeschool you are laying claim to the use of your brain.

If what we are doing is for ourselves to get through this day with the most ease and enjoyment, there is no need for the long view, but if what we are doing is purposefully, thoughtfully aimed at our grand children and great grand children, then one cannot be, must not be bound to what one ‘wants’.

The teachings of ‘Ought To’s’ is the only way to bring about a cultural revolution of change for the rise of humanity in this, our divine earthly state rather than degrading to base beings.  Through kindness, serving, loving one another we are bound to promoting  the positive change that will benefit our world, and in that, our families, and ourselves.  It must go out from oneself and be pure of intent in order that it return to self as benefit.  Then it is with humility that we sit in awe and thanks of what has come about.  There is no selfishness nor pride in doing as one ‘ought to’.  There is commitment, discipline, contentment, hard work, and peace.

Historically we see this in the era of the Roman Empire where self indulgence was at an all time high.  There were 8000 Christians vs. 60-million Romans with a growth rate of Christianity at 4% annually.   The Christians followed the principals (commandments) of ‘ought to’ while the Romans followed the principles of ‘want to’.   The Christians were committed to love one another, women’s rights, sanctity of marriage, family, not practicing infanticide, lives of moderation, and the care of the afflicted.  They ultimately out-thought, out-loved, out-produced, and out-lived those bound by fulfilling their ‘wants’ to bring the empire into true freedom through the principles of ‘ought’.

It took about 300 years, but Someone began the first ripple of change that attracted others which led to immense change for an empire and ultimately a world.  You homeschool because you wish to guide change toward a righteous direction.   Let’s enlarge our vision!  Where shall our goals shift to serve our great, great grandchildren?  What changes will we make in order to enlarge the current ripple of true freedom into a future bright with peace, wisdom, health, life, and love?


Bad Habits vs. Thankful Habits

Lately I have recognized a bad habit of feeling sorry for myself when my husband or children do not recognize the hard work I put forth 24/7 which results in a lack of gratitude toward and agreement with Poor Little Me.  It was my husband who was brave enough to say, in the heat of the moment, “I don’t know where it is that you go in your mind, but it always gets us into this argument.”

No longer being newlyweds and knowing that his words are rarely meant to be hurtful, I had to back down and take inventory.  Sure enough, I go to this place of feeling sorry for myself when things are not going my way, the children are, well, acting like children, and my husband is not as supportive as I think he ought to be or in the ways I think he ought to be.  Yikes!  This describes someone that I would prefer not to be.

The beautiful thing is that I am not the Center of Truth, and with His help I can change who I am each moment of each day through the will power gifted by God.  That empty space that grows in my chest that longs for filling really has only one Puzzle Piece that can fit.  I just forget that and try to get quick fixes through my amazing husband and incredible children’s “Yes Mama, you are THE best!!”  “Yes, we can’t wait to do exactly what you say, exactly how you say, and with attitudes that please you.”

With this recognition came the need to figure out how to change this habit.  Habits can’t simply be stopped, dropped, or given up.  They can only be replaced with another habit.  AA works not because you stop drinking but because you shift from diving into your own sorrows with a bottle, into helping others with their sorrows and diving into a Higher Power (used to be called God, but that went out the window when PC flew in).  Note:  I am not an alcoholic….just in case you were wondering.  grin.

Being open to change left me Open to hear His voice which has been whispering through many friends, family, books, conversations of all that is in my life that is not usual.  All that allows me to serve deeply, love longer, live richly.  Substitute- Thankfulness!  Now when I begin to feel sorry for myself after working so diligently toward perfection only to find that my husband and/or children are not playing by the unspoken rules I set, I stop and begin to consider the many blessings that are laid in my lap as gift each day:

  1. Making promises to God to love, serve, honor, care for my better half and sticking to those promises, only to find that the hard times were the tilling of the soil for the sprouting of wonderful times.
  2. Staying at home to raise and teach our children in the way we believe will best serve their future selves.
  3. Having to skimp and save in order to make ends meet, realizing that the savings brought to our financial table was marked and allowed us to live on a single income, focus on family, find joy in living simply, find answers to specific and general prayers prayers (cloth diaper covers, size 4 underwear, girls winter clothing, healthier food), and then to be blessed during the recession.
  4. Bumbling into a home school leadership role that felt way beyond my abilities which has led me to all of you wondrous homeschooling families.
  5. Having a mother who forced the love of literature to discover that books take me beyond my small minded world.
  6. Having a father who specialized in PTSD while not in our lives as children but who brought me to wholeness (along with my other Father) as an adult.
  7. Children who force me to consider the importance of relationship over being right.
  8. Friends who challenge me to be the best version of myself. (love that Matthew Kelly!)
  9. Writer’s Circle and Lost Tools of Living camps that keep ideas fresh and teaching/learning exciting.
  10. My Better Half whose steady double type B anchors me, brings balance to our family, and sometimes painfully brings me to awareness of the side of myself that I would prefer to pretend did not exist.