MAMA L: I was watching the video about midterm reports and you mentioned something about having a defiant child who needed to unschool possibly. (remember Faithful Scholars’ members, you have accesss to our Video Library- the link was sent with your Welcome or Response email) I feel that would fit us. I have a 9 year old who struggles to focus. We spent thousands of dollars on Brain Balance a year and a half ago. Last year we spent thousands on a co-op. Some aspects helped and I learned a lot about my son’s learning styles and challenges during these years and programs.
E. was lacking in gross and fine motor development. He is my only child who went to public school. This year, I brought him completely home without spending thousands of dollars to figure him out or ‘fix’ him, so to speak. Our focus has been to play a lot and be in nature a lot. He struggles to read and write so we hired a reading tutor who is trained in Orton Gillingham. He sees her twice a week for 30 minutes at a time. We only cover LA at home on the days that he does not see her. We do math every day, science and history once a week. We do a lot of read alouds and audio books. Our History and Geography are from Beautiful Feet. Elijah just finished acting I. His first play where he had to memorize a good bit of lines and stretch his ability to focus and develop better relational skills. We also hiked once a week the same trail to observe changes through the seasons and he spent time drawing a lot in his journal. I have placed an emphasis on Bible first thing every morning and we are slowly working through a book on Character. We also volunteer at a horse farm once a week where E. learns more about emotional regulation, responsibility and respect to animals, and honestly a good bit of science and math. (More than I expected). This year has not been very full or rigorous academically, but there has been a lot of growth and learning happening. I’m just not sure how to grade it or record it. Maybe you can help me?
FAITHFUL SCHOLARS: Oh My Word!!!! I wish that we had more parents like you! Well, in truth, I wish our children had more parents like you!!!! E. is one blessed young man. What you are doing right now is EXACTLY what every child needs until around 4th grade (for some 5th grade and for others, mostly girls, 3rd grade). Continue trusting yourself because what you have described is the JOY OF LEARNING through the best IEP (individualized education plan) ever! Truly, I am so proud of you!
Until high school there is no need to formally assess, evaluate, or assign grades, and we at FS discourage all of these as these are not the reasons anyone should learn. Imagine learning as a game similar to baseball. You do not explain throwing and catching, show it a few times, and expect the child to a. know how to execute the function, and definitely not b. enjoy the process. You stay with the child until they have mastered each part and can teach another. The whole while it is a fun game!
If ever you need to assign a grade, trust yourself and assign ‘gut grades’. After all, you did the teaching and experienced the journey and results first hand. For now, print off what you just wrote as your mid-term report and you are done! Truly, it can be that simple. Again, I am so proud of you for following what you knew was best for E! Learning feels validated by either the cost or the effort of input, however if that were the truth of learning, we would all be done learning by the age of 20 and nothing new would ever be welcomed within our mental boundaries again- because the first go around was so excruciating. True learning begins with curiosity, curiosity begins with imagination, imagination begins with freedom. Too many have given their freedom over to a school or program or boxed curriculum or device for fear of missing something or believing they are inadequate. Keep being the Take Back Mama, forging beautiful new paths you know to be best for each of them, and guiding them toward a lifetime of learning –with joy!
MAMA L: Thank you for your response. I have really taken a leap of faith this year with my family, and it is very reaffirming to hear positive feedback from you. It is also reaffirming every time I see E. working independently at the farm, in the yard, or in the kitchen to prepare a salad, sandwich, ramen, or smoothie. Occupational therapy was recommended to us, but I believe that we have started to see some great results from me listening to the Holy Spirit’s prompts and choosing to trust Him and walk through the doors that He opened. E. has come a long way in his confidence and independence this year. It is not perfect, but I do believe that we are on the right path for right now.
FAITHFUL SCHOLARS: Redefine what ‘perfect’ looks like. Perfect for your son is what is best for him. We were not all created to be heads or feet or hands, but each gifted according to His design. Who better to realize, and help the child to realize (in the full definition of the word) their giftings. Our world promotes and praises brains while we lament the lack of hands when we cannot get an ethical and gifted electrician or plumber. The poor feet of the world, those that serve and support (mamas, homeschool teachers, community builders, etc) are as vitally needed as the headers of a home, but because much of our workload is quietly accomplished behind closes walls, no one realizes the constant and continual heavy lifting that occurs.
Would that we could re-evaluate the balance of the world’s ‘body’ and invest equal time into our hands and feet as you are doing!
