Category Archives: new homeschooler

The One Thing

There is not time each day for more than One Thing.  I know, we homeschooling mamas thrive on our super powers of accomplishing above and beyond.  That is not what I am talking about.  The One Thing is your most important objective for the day.  It is done well, completed well, and brings soul satisfaction.

There are many side jobs and yay-I-finally-got-to-that jobs and those that shove their way into our days, but the One Thing must be your focus from the moment you put your feet on the floor and, if you live life fully and freely, should be rather constant yet ever changing.  Organized chaos, if you will.

That sounds like something you would not wish to touch with a long stick, but if we honestly observe living fully in any manner the bookends are rigidity and bedlam.  Organized chaos is allowing life to flow while setting ‘shipping channel’ that guide you safely toward your destination while allowing the freedom of movement, shifting, living a full yet relaxed life.  Let me note that by ‘relaxed’ I do not mean that you will have time to sit around eating bon bons; simply that you will allow yourself to lay down your stress of being perfect.

Back to The One Thing.  It takes dedicated focus to discern and decide what that will be each day.  As homeschoolers most of us immediately conclude that it must be lessons.  What if it were not?  What if lessons were sometimes The One Thing and sometimes not?

Catch your breath.  I am not advocating anything less than the ideal home education that fits your family.  What I am suggesting is that lessons not reign supreme at the cost of all else.  Sometimes they can be the side job that is completed but not the one that you made certain was fully attended to and completed to full satisfaction.  Lessons were simply accomplished while you focused on a friend in need, a birthday girl, chores, a dedicated job, neighbors, adventure.

Remember the Bible story of Mary and Martha?  Who made the better choice?  It was so counter-intuitive.  So counter-cultural.  And yet, it was the proper One Thing for that moment.  Accomplishment, worksheet worship, textbook consumption often overshadow and rob our joys that proffer themselves along the way.  They gently nudge our hearts.  Do you trust that in choosing a non-traditional day of learning has value?   All of life should be learning.  All of learning has value.  Trust that your wisdom to discern between a wasted day and a different day when your One Thing does not leave that mentally satisfying paper trail and allow the joy of releasing your plan of what must be each day to what might be each day.

For our family, we homeschool year ’round which allows us to ebb and flow with our days.  Three days a week our One Thing is lessons leaving two days each week to shift our One Thing out of my controlling hands.  Boy, I do love controlling my universe, but it is not always good for marriage, children, family, personal stress, rest, joy, learning, etc.

  • Be open to adventure and opportunity as they knock.  Our children will learn so much about being flexible, laying down anxiety, embracing life in all it’s colors and glory.
  • Be open to not knowing or planning all of your days.  Begin talking about possible adventures with your spouse, children, friends and see what comes forth–and go with it.
  • Know that what needs to get done will get done.  You will no more allow your child’s education to fall by the wayside than you would allow them to swim in the deep end of a pool without knowing how to swim or being at their side.  It’s not the homeschool way- it would be that far side of the curve–bedlam.  Nobody signs on for that.
  • Be open to change from within.  End each day with praise and start each day with possibility releasing your day into His hands for His glory.
  • Rest and know that you are enough with no need to move mountains in a day.  They will move one shovel full at a time as you take pleasure in your days with focus on embracing fully that One Thing.

Home School Gone Main Stream

Home School being main stream seems counter intuitive and even counter cultural but it is true.  There are more homeschoolers across the nation than private schoolers!  There are so many choices in curriculum, co ops, programs, on line classes, dual enrollment, etc that beginning this journey has become mind boggling.  I am so thankful that it was laid upon my heart to create Faithful Scholars into a realized vision of educating, empowering, and encouraging home schoolers through workshops, newsletters, Face Book Live events, one on one support, and more rather than requiring that you fit into my perceived box of what schooling at home is and is not or simply beginning your legal paper trail.  That being said, I am not knocking those groups as they are the perfect fit for many who find comfort in being told what and how to navigate through the freedom of homeschool or must run their school on a very tight budget.  However, I am thankful that Faithful Scholars grooves to the beat of a different drummer that enables us (my amazing, supportive Better Half and children, incredible office staff, and a top notch IT Team) to serve you beyond the norm.

Becoming main stream has given pause for reflection and I realize that we are so richly woven with threads of integrated primary roles – spouse, parent, and teacher that onlookers are drawn to discover what it is that gives us our joy, edge, vitality.  Call it what you will, but it is appealing and noticed from a distance.  In our undertaking to educate at home, we have have laid ourselves down to be devastated by His grace and will, and found that in doing so, we unexpectedly discover that we are covered by that very same grace.  Becoming aware of this option of being rescued from another person’s schedules, expectations, deliberations, and demands we find that those seemingly secure interactions pale in comparison to our integrated life of family, learning, and play.

Each day is alive with the possibilities, the expectations, of revelation, new, challenges and joys.  Our beings respond with praise and rejoicing in our everyday comings and goings whether we know this or not.  Taking this organic movement into the main lanes of educational options.  Our lives are compelling and mysterious.  People see us coming from a long way off and wonder.  Stopping in their tracks to observe our exchanges with our spouse, children and others, contemplating what has caused us to laugh with pure delight!  Ultimately deciding that they too want the brilliant, kind, curious outlook that they witness….and they come to ask hoping discover a deep well of love, patience, expectation and are drawn one step closer.  You may be tired, lacking your normal patience, yearning for a few more minutes of sleep, feeling burdened by lessons left incomplete, but before all of this, and in spite of all of this, you embody the peace, contentment, and joy that others seek!

Advanced Learners

This year we are doing first grade, but the public school would have him starting Kindergarten.  He is just too advanced to hold back.

Don’t hold him back academically, but I would encourage you to keep him in the proper grade for his ‘future self’.  Don’t dumb down his work.  Many K’s are doing 1st-grade work, but come 3rd or 4th (or sometimes 9th) it becomes too difficult and they totally lose their self-worth as being ‘so smart’.

Label him the proper grade per age (we do this for kids who are behind grade level as well).

Teach at the level he is (above, at, behind grade level).

Tell him what a hard worker he is (but not that he is ‘so smart’)

Understand that he is and will continue to ‘play’ school until age 7, 8, or 9.  Be a fun playmate!

When it becomes real and no longer play is when you want to make sure there are no emotional wobbles due to labels or how proud you are reflecting your advanced student.

Never keep him at full speed/challenged/at potential, but rather move forward as he sets the tone with precept upon precept and concept upon concept.  Imagine if your husband said, “You are such a great wife that I expect you to work at your very best Top Notch day in and day out.”  Exhausting.  Overwhelming.  Draining.

Usually, a child will continue to be ahead in some subjects and fall behind in others as the years go along.  This is perfectly fine.  Completing all subjects of a specific grade level does not give validation or credence to work accomplished.  A year of math is a year of math even if only a portion of the textbook was covered.  You will complete the rest of it next year (or over the summer if you school year ‘round- such a lovely and relaxing approach to schooling!)

We have always made age 6 our K year.  My husband teaches in a college prep high school with tons of really bright kids who have been pushed ahead.  They are able to compete in the classroom, but not on the playing field or leadership as their bodies and emotions are still at the proper age.  And, it’s nice to graduate a man who is a bit more mature in age and wisdom than his peers…and we have loved having the extra year with them.

High School???!!!

The thought of teaching a high schooler at home can be daunting unless it has naturally occurred year by year as a committed K-12 homeschooling family or it is a situation of getting your high schooler out of a bad situation in traditional school.  Even then it jangles ones nerves all over.  That being said, most amazing things cause this core reaction… the first time you saw the person you were to marry….saying, “I do!” and learning the day by day lessons of marriage… finding out you were going to be a parent,,,, holding a tiny precious baby knowing that you also held full responsibility….. and on and on it continues.  This feeling is nothing new, it just is right before you which causes it to seem larger than life.  Once you take a step onto the actual path things take their place, work begins, and, like all wonder filled things, you go at it moment by moment, lesson by lesson, day by day until 4 years have miraculously gone by, books full of memories surround you, and your child continues growing up.

Curriculum is a Tool, Not a Goal

As we excitedly plan out our learning and lessons for next year it strikes me how the butterfly-joy welling up from within is based on the journey rather than thoughts of the completion of another year.  It feels like running into a dear friend who has been out of town for a while.

In the beginning, I thought it was about getting through a long list of requirements year by year.  The concept of being able to fall into a lesson of intrigue and remain there for as long as we wished is foreign- feeling somehow that it must be wrong, illegal, something.

After years of following my heart instinct, experiences have confirmed, in multiple ways due to various and sundry children’s testing, attending school, going to college, etc. that this method works.  But, it still feels confusing to educate in such a non-traditional manner.

We use books- many books but rarely follow one all the way through as we don’t believe that gives a worldview from which to platform discussions.  We learn how to learn traditionally because that is the world we live in.  However, day to day lessons are fluid, aimed at my children’s future selves, built toward their interests and gifts.  Rarely are two days alike.

There is rhythm to each day, there is sequence to our lessons, there is beauty as well as tears, and there is trepidation that I’m missing something, I’m doing it wrong, I’m fooling myself.  God is giggling right now as He whispers in my hear, “Katie, my beloved, that is faith.  Trust.”

Harmony- She is Illusive

Finding harmony based upon routine is one of a homeschoolers core daily struggles.  Even for those of us who are determined to maintain a fluid day, there must be some order.  When do the children wake, what lessons are the big slimy toads and need swallowing first, who needs what nutrition at what time in order to balance out minds and moods, do I answer the phone or pretend not to listen to the voice leaving a message, do I check emails or call it multi tasking as I take a potty break, and on and on.  So, fluid is wonderful, we strive for it, but what gives us the most harmony is doing as we ought to do based upon what routines we have put into place.  To let these go for a day, much less a week, means having to push start a solidly build iron caboose all over again.  Obviously we don’t relish that idea, so why not put it off for one more day, and one more day, and disharmony arrives without us even noticing.

Keeping motivated for our own chores, expectations, meaningful work etc. is only the beginning.  On top of this we must guide and encouargae our children in this same area- this same area that we so often stutter-start, falter, and fail in.  It is a constant seeking.  One that is most often just illusive enough to erringly convince us that it is unattainable.  —And then we grasp it; hold it for a few precious moments; become exhausted in the maintenance it requires; lighten our grasp– and out ‘she’ goes to be sought once again.  It is in the journey that we grow, not in the reaching of the destination.  That is the wonderful thing.  Enjoy the journey.

 

Considering Homeschooling- education vs. being educated

Homeschool is about creating a culture of education, daily devotion to curiosity, and practice of diligence toward discipline.  It is more about character and less about the completion of, or in some situations, the ‘experience’ of, material.  Homeschoolers use books to grow our children in the areas of faith and diligence.  An incredible academic education is almost a lovely side effect of teaching at home.

Consider the fact that one must be educated in order to truly understand, practice, and defend their faith.  To be diligent and kind one must understand the parameters and purposes of such acts; why they ought to be grown from within; why they desperately need to be practiced each day.  These acts are caught rather than taught.  Following goals of completing a book simply for the sake of checking off a subject in order to progress to the next book will be hard pressed to lead a child to faith and character.  Reverse that order and it is such a lovely and common sense approach for a person to use books, any books, to grow our children in stature AND education.

“The goal of education should not be the completion of a book, but, rather, the lighting of a fire.”  Some famous sage made this statement ages ago.  Wish I could remember their name for you, but I think those brain cells shrunk with baby #4 or was it #5?

When we school at home we have the time to model for our children.  We have daily pressure to walk what we talk rather than the need to preach into the void of time between school, practice, homework, and sleep.  We unlimited opportunities to socialize and learn alongside other children/parents with the same end goals rather than a wave in a carpool line and a hope that your child is no longer hanging out with (insert nemesis name here).  There is no need to undo 8+ hours of gunk build up in order to get back to an open and teachable attitude.  Instead, we must work on ourselves in order to know when to lead, guide, encourage, respect/love, chastise, or challenge.

Homeschooling mamas have such a desire to get to Heaven that we daily open ourselves up to sanctification through educating our children.    When we school at home, we have the time to educate our child in a lasting manner that considers and encompasses their whole life rather than simply preparing them for college.  Education should be a lifelong quest.  Modern education stops between the ages of 18 and 24 with nary a book to be opened again.  Once they head out your door, the time for imparting faith, character, and kindness is over.  However, if they have been encouraged to find joy in learning, satisfaction in doing hard things, respect/love in following their curiosity, they are well prepared to learn anything they would like in college and beyond.

God can redeem all things,  Please do not read into this that I am discounting His power.  I rely on His power as mine falls so far short- and I seek this homeschool quest daily with a couple of decades of experience.

I can think of nothing more worthy of my weekdays than practicing and speaking consistent love into the hearts and minds of my girl-women, and practicing and speaking consistent respect into the hearts and mind of my boy-men– using books as one of my main mediums.  Our whole house becomes a part of our Culture of Education, lessons are taught and caught all day long no matter the location, the book, or the time.  It is who we are- people who are curious- people who learn- people who master- people who share with others.

Our whole house becomes a part of our Culture of Education, lessons are taught and caught all day long no matter the location, the book, or the time.  It is who we are- curious people, learners, masters, givers, etc.  As if there could be nothing better:  We share this gifted journey with a community of like- minded people who we can truly get to know during hours of socialization while we guide our children toward the common goal of educating the whole child.   Those who understand the difference between an education as something to worship vs. being educated in order to live fully as God intends for each and every one of us.

My prayer for this blippy blog is that you might haver a better understanding of the difference between an education as your end goal vs. education as a lifelong pursuit to live fully in communion with others- as God intends for each and every one of us- loving our neighbors as ourselves.

High School Readiness & Gaps

In answer to the common question, “How will I know I am covering “enough” with my soon-to-be 8th grader to prepare him for high school level courses?”

You never will.  Makes me grin each time I type this as I can envision the ‘thanks for nothing’ expression it must elicit.

If your student will return to public school you will need him prepared in math & reading comprehension, competent in gleaning material from texts, able to fill in a bubble with the stroke of a #2 pencil, stand in line, raise his hand, request a bathroom pass in twelve different languages,………….okay, I’m getting a bit silly.

Make certain your child is math confident.  Go back and insure that all upper level math building blocks are sturdy and steady.  (decimals, fractions, theories, etc).  Strengthen reading comprehension through re-reading and narrating short stories, classics, favorite books.  Use a strong program such as IEW or Lost Tools of Writing to assure that a well planned, well stated composition can be created if given a topic.

If your student has a strong foundation in these three basics, he/she will be able to learn any subject matter no matter how difficult or foreign.  Science and History are required subjects, so please don’t forget to include them in your days.  But the base three for a lifetime of success in learning anything from how to put together a bike to how to solve the worlds problems are math, reading comprehension, and writing.

Another spin off to this is the issue of ‘gaps’.  Not the super fantastic immune strengthening diet that is helping frantic moms across the world regain health over illness, just the simple empty spaces that feel, in an academic sense, as though they ought to be filled.

Every single student has gaps even if they attend the most stellar institution this world has to offer and switch to another.  There will be gaps.  From traditional school to traditional school, there are gaps- yes, even if they are all teaching The Core.  From home school to traditional school, there will be gaps.  Gaps just can’t be helped.

As long as the gaps are not in the above 3 mentioned areas (math, reading comprehension, writing) your student will be just fine and be caught up within a matter of weeks.  -even in computers and foreign language when placed with students who have had experience for 8 years and yours has none.  It’s a phenomenon for sure, but it’s real.

Less is More

Rest easy.  You cannot academically ruin an elementary level student.  I promise!  The most typical mistake is in doing too much academically rather than too little.  These little sponges will soak and soak and soak in the information as they see how pleased it makes you (with them).  And then at some point around 2nd-4th grade they are saturated, may shut down, and lessen or lose their enthusiasm for learning. What happened? It used to be so easy to please you, it used to be so easy to keep up with the work?  Meeting moms expectations and thrilling her with your ‘smarts’ was a breeze, but now it is hard work -and the amount of work has become heavy.  So, mom, keep it light, avoid most of the fluff subjects beyond phonics, read alouds (at, below, above level), and counting.  Really, if you have not opened your curriculum you can send it back or keep it for use here and there.  Avoid worksheet/workbook worship, avoid more than 15-30 minutes of sit down academic work (multiply this per grade up to 5th-7th grade-ish).  Utilize nature, literature, and discussion as much as possible.  Create an environment of learning, a culture of curiosity, within your home rather than a classroom in your kitchen.  Get excited over finding reference books at the thrift stores and build a library of $1 books one at a time.

If you find yourself on the edge or your child lacking zeal for learning, step back and look at what you are doing.  And, don’t allow the student to dictate your day by his/her attitude.  Have few rules but keep them consistently, keep them with love and grace and firm control.  Some ideas of what I mean are: good attitude, kindness toward others, quick obedience (even, and especially, when not getting ones way), attendance to/completion of lessons in a quick, efficient and correct manner.  These foundational stones will return to serve your future years of school, home or traditional, in a manner that will tickle you to your toes.  Lack thereof will create an equal and opposite reaction.  Have no fear.  Adam and Eve homeschooled their children, so did Noah, so did Mary & Joseph.  This is a natural gift that we all have.  Only we have been taught that we are incapable of tapping into it unless we are issued a piece of paper by a professional.  No!  If one man can do it, you can do it.  Pray, read, join a support group, join in groups/activities as you are able, take joy in your child every day, take joy in days that ought to be scrapped of traditional learning and turned into park days or pj days, take joy that you have freedom to teach deeply in the areas that are of importance to your family.  Do not fear that someone will tell you it is inadequate.  No two schools are at the same level, no two students are at the same level.  Your child will learn one subject easily and one not so easily.  Have a child behind in one subject and ahead in one is quite normal.  You need not fit ‘someone’s’ idea of normal, you just need to follow your child’s abilities and learn precept upon precept.  Completing a workbook, text, or curriculum each year does not mean the material has been learned.  It has been covered.  Far better it should be learned.

Okay, so I could ramble on all day as I love this stuff and want each of our Faithful Scholars families to feel empowered and confident in their roles as homeschool teacher and administrator.  I am here to answer whatever question you may have- on topic or off, silly or serious.  Don’t ever think you are the only one experiencing anything- it is a lie.  We all go through much the same experiences and when we share our troubles we find our answers as well as love and grace!

Eager and Early Learners

…Eager and Early Learners

I can remember my husband buying a book on our honeymoon entitled, “Teach Your Baby to Read.”  We had already planned to homeschool our children, when they came, but this was not what I had in mind.  A year later our first child was born and that book sat on the shelves.  Though I was determined not to push reading on my infant daughter, I did assume I would begin teaching her at a relatively early age.  By the time she was eighteen months, we were well into flash cards of letters and phonemes.  At the time it seemed simple—she had an inordinately long attention-span and was not a particularly active child.  She preferred to sit upon my then pregnant belly and spout out letters, shapes, colors, etc.  By the time she was four, she was reading and writing simple sentences.  I, of course, beamed with pride and wished for opportunities whereby people could stumble upon the fact of her genius.   We continued along in this vein and she progressed along schedule.   I couldn’t have been more pleased when she was reading all the Little House on the Prairie books and writing short stories in kindergarten.
So, for several years I pushed her and pushed her to be a prolific reader and writer.  It probably had a lot to do with pride, but it wasn’t just that—I felt a deep responsibility to cultivate her God-given talents.  To be a good steward of her gifts, so to speak.   I pushed her in every area, and as a dutiful eldest child she seemed up to the task.  She strove to please me and everyone around her and to be a model child.  But all was not well.  Our daughter was struggling with emotional issues.  She became a classic worrier and felt she could never quite keep up with the expectations we set on her.   We didn’t see it that clearly at first and thought it had more to do with trauma after the accidental death of our neighbor.  The emotional problems intensified–unwinding into several complicated years of ups and downs;  all the while we were brought to our knees begging the Lord to give us wisdom.  What we eventually saw, through a series of events and with the help of the books by Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore, was that she was under immense pressure to perform in every area.  As the eldest of our four children, we expected her to set an example for the rest.  She did this admirably—so admirably in fact that we missed how it was hurting her on the inside.  For a long time we focused on having her memorize relevant scripture—to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  We were on the right track, but not addressing the whole problem.  The rest of the problem was not in her heart and mind, but in that of her parents.  To put it simply, we were stressing her out.  Unfortunately, we hadn’t really figured this out yet.
It took another year before we truly came to see what we were doing to her.  She began to no longer enjoy reading or writing and could no longer think well.  It seemed, in fact, like she wasn’t learning anything.  We all trudged along while learning slowed down and enjoyment waned.  I can’t say that there was an aha moment when everything came together and suddenly changed for the better.  What I do know is that things are improving for the whole family and it has a lot to do with changes in me.  It’s a daily challenge to trust the Lord more than myself and to believe that He has a plan.
I expect a lot of my kids—I don’t think that will ever change.  I am attempting to find the balance between maintaining high standards while eschewing unreasonable expectations.  It’s difficult to simplify the last ten years of this journey into a few simple paragraphs.   I am still struggling to learn that it is okay to allow kids to advance at their own pace and to not push on them societal norms about academics.  Children who grow up in a home where learning is clearly important will incorporate that ideal into their own.   The problems and their solutions are far more complex than what is written here.  Hopefully though, with the Lord’s help, we are at least on the right track.