Success in Our Day to Day

Parent: I feel like I have hit a brick wall with homeschooling 4 of my kids: 7 years old, 8 years, 10, and 12 years old.  I have a 1 year old as well. I feel as though I am failing them. It kills me to think of putting them in public school I want this to work. We haven’t been able to get speech therapy for my 7 year old and my 12 year old struggles with learning basic math. The math tutor has refused to come back until my son memorizes his times table which we are trying but struggles in math runs in family. Learning difficulties. I feel like I don’t teach writing well. They fight with me on doing work books on a daily basis. I don’t want to give up I just don’t want to fail my kids. I am crying writing this. I guess I just need some advice on what to do. Sorry I wrote a book here. Thank you for any advice you can give. As a mom I worry about their future.

 

Faithful Scholars:  First of all, if anyone has the privilege of failing your children it should be you and not some teacher.  Your tutor sounds as though she needs to be fired as she understands achievement but not children.  I am mad just thinking about her ultimatum to you!!  Most of this world’s inventors, business owners, and genius’ were ‘slow learners’ or mentally deficient in some way (adhd, dyslexic, slow processing, etc).  However, our traditional systems continue to push academics at a higher level to a lower age each year.

What is your goal in homeschooling?  Take a minute to read this and consider what you truly want out of homeschooling?  https://faithfulscholars.com/why-do-you-home-school/

If it is the completion of a certain amount of material by a certain age, homeschooling is not the route to go.

If it is to grow up a different kind of adult from the ones loitering in the aisles of WalMart looking suspiciously like employees, but holding none of the qualifications of thinking and serving, then homeschool is for you- no matter how slow.

If you are not able/willing to make homeschool your job for at least 4-6 hours each day, homeschool is not for you.

If you are able/happily willing to devote 4-6 hours to your children’s best future selves each day, homeschool is for you.

If you are being bullied into allowing screen time as a reward or happy place, then public school keeping them off tech consumerism is better.

If you are able to set strong/solid boundaries around tech allowing their brains to develop normally, critical thinking areas to strengthen rather than weaken, and utilize the best learning methods of touch, see, smell, hear, taste (??), then homeschool is THE way to go.

Go to the Helpful Stuff link in your Member Email (sent upon joining/renewing), scroll down, go to Video Library and watch the video on Dyslexia.  It is super difficult to grow up/learn with, but ONCE your brain sorts out how it best learns, it is a super power.  The nice thing is that a dyslexic is NEVER a quitter (long term) nor (able to be) lazy.  They just have to sort how to access all the files in their brains.  Usually we also have ADHD.  Lucky us!  But truly, these are my super-powers and most successful small businesses are created/run by dyslexics/ADHD peeps.

If I were you, I would take a day off, enjoy the day observing your children play, and note all of the things they do that are learning or character.  It will do your soul immense good.

Possible Schedule:

If schooling year round, this needs be 3.5 days/week to meet your 180 days.

If schooling Sept-May then 5 days per week to get your 180 days in.

Wake with 5 minutes to get out of bed for read aloud while one of the kiddos makes breakfast (take turns) and the rest snuggle and enjoy while you slowly wake over tea or warm drink.

If they do not wake with the timer (be sure to set one!!) then a ‘different mama’ goes to wake them at minute 6, the day progresses as usual, but after dinner (Dad is home) they go to bed, lights out, to get the extra sleep they obviously need.

These ‘systems’ keep my world afloat without argument.  It is like ‘strongly helping’ the children choose to do right while allowing them to do wrong if they so choose….. but why would you if the consequence is consistently upheld?

Your least favorite subject comes directly after this with no break (for us this is always math)

In that time add in math memory work such as multiplication tables for everyone.  CC CD’s have wonderful times table songs but probably found elsewhere as well.  Sing them and stick to one set of songs, so whatever you begin with, stay with.

Then lessons by lesson with each child.   Get the oldest started and work down to the youngest who will need more of your time.  Then stay there ready for questions AND to check their math work day by day (then or at night) having them make corrections.  Move at the speed the child needs to move.  If a year of math takes 2 years, no problem AS LONG AS you are doing math daily and it is not because math is slipping through the cracks.  Until 5th or 6th grade we appreciate the teaching of not only How, but also the Why of each concept by Singapore Math, US Edition.

Move right into English beginning with spelling rules (also found linked within the Member’s Only Helpful Stuff) for everyone!

Copy work and spelling for a busy mom and differently wired learners could be/should be accomplished sporadically with everyone participating (even you) and then pass your papers for them to have 5 favorites marked and 1 that needs improving.  Make the improvement and be done.  Do these for 2 week ‘campaigns’ every now and again.

Sequential Spelling is the best I have found, but there are others.

IEW is a great curriculum in that you can do one lesson and cover many grades.

Do not begin intense writing/composition until grade 3 for girls and grade 4 for boys.

Break for kitchen clean up (all together)

Break for lunch prep (you or take turns or whatever works) while the rest play, read, draw, build with Lego’s but no screens)

Lunch

Outside time (rainy days are movie days in our home – as well as Fri, Sat, Sun evenings after dinner but zero screen time outside of this)

Tea time while you read aloud history or historical fiction (can be same as morning read but I like Hilyer’s A Child’s History of the World) while the children draw something about which you are reading.  Input to a binder day by day and they will build their own history notebook which is super cool.

For olders, they write a sentence or 3-5 about what they drew on the back of the drawing

For youngers, you make a short note about what they drew

Kids and Mama gear up with their sketch journals and you all go outside to explore/discover.  Claire Walker’s Keeping a Nature Journal (workbook) is awesome!  The more you join in and get excited, the better teacher you will be, and the better students your children will be.  If you don’t care, they will soon not care either.

Anything you can experiment with, blow up, dissect, etc is science.  Allow it.

Do not add in another textbook or dry curriculum.  Science is about curiosity and discovery; examining and exploring;  questioning and consulting.

And another day is done.  Do not set your sights on what you think you must achieve by the end of the year, but on what you are achieving that moment of the day.  Sometimes you get through math and the day derails.  As long as you are in charge of allowing it to derail, no harm is done.  Begin again the next day.

In our home, if you came down with The Grumpies, you were isolated so the rest of us did not catch the dreaded contagious disease.

If you were squabbling, you sat smushed into the same chair until you giggled and moved on.

On rare instances, we have been known to duct tape their arms and legs together to help them get over their stubbornness.

Systems put in place before the issue came up so that you can handle those moments with (pre) thoughtfulness, calm, and lack of Crazy Mama (also known as Mama Caught Off Guard).  I post mine on the fridge to remind me to be consistent even- especially- on the days I feel rested and gracious.

One of the biggest things you should be hearing in all of this is that YOU MUST be the daily, moment by moment, leader, guide, cheerleader, and checker.  Homeschooling our children in an active endeavor vs. sending them on a yellow bus is a passive endeavor.  One’s mindset must shift in order to fully immerse into order to mindfully create and carry out our moments and days.

You were gifted these children exactly as they were build which tells me that you are equipped.  Trust in yourself as you harness to the satisfying, world changing work that is home education.  Being engaged and engaging as often as possible with life, chores and meals seasoned in amongst lessons.

When you are not enjoying your days, take a break, observe, re-assess, and most of the time you will discover that it is your set of expectations that needs to shift. 

Meaning, that you ARE doing a great job.  You simply do not allow that everything you are doing each day is adequate because it is not so difficult that you end your days either exhausted with that happy grin of lessons completed and moon hung or exhausted with frustrated pursed lips and all lessons com. plete. ed.  Most days are just plain old run of the mill days, just make sure the mill is running regularly and smoothly with a consistent skeletal daily rhythm (not a strict schedule unless that motivates you).